Good enough
by KellyNorthman
Summary: After Edward leaves Bella find her voice with a new family.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the charter's or locations from twilight I have just used them. But I do own the original ideas for this story, the ideas that I made, and this story. Any similar stuff you find in other stories, I didn't mean to copy off of or I don't care that they wrote the same thing as long as they do the thing above, unless they haven't read any story that had those ideas before.**

Chapter 1

"Bella, I don't want you, I don't love you!"  
I woke with a start again, my long hair all over the place my forehead covered in sweat, my breathing hitched. And it's only 1 am Great! I keep having that dam dream lately, it does help me to write my song's but it also kills me a little each time, leaving my heart dying a little more each time. Why did he leave me, Why? I got out of bed and walked over to the piano in the corner of my room and started to get the frustration out. I did play when I was younger Renee wanted me to play the piano and dance ballet both got lost along the way. After he left me I was a broken empty shell, after about 7 months of crying, screaming and trying to end my life I came to the realisation that he was not coming back. So I decided that I should vent my feeling's as every time Charlie asked me how I was I exploded ranting and yelling at him them running to my room and staying there for hours alone with my mind, which can be a very dangerous place to be left alone it turns out. I went to his house to use the beautiful piano left to turn to dust like my heart after a month or so I had picked it back up to my surprise. I though back on everything that had happened, I tried to end myself about 5 months after he left I took some flat razors of Charlies and went for a long walk to our meadow, I lay down running the razors down from my forearms, bleeding out by the time Jake found me I was a mess, and now I had 3 perfect scar's to remind me how close I had come the first time. He took me back to his place and helped put me back together again, there were a few other attempts all with the same ending but each very different to begin with, Jake was always there to help me get out of the hole I had put myself in.

After summer holiday's I couldn't stand being in forks anymore, on a Tuesday morning I waited until Charlie left for work knowing that he was going fishing with Billy that afternoon and wouldn't be home until late, he tried to avoid me as much as I did him. I packed my stuff into my track and I left. I wrote a note to Charlie telling him he could call me but I was not coming back, I was getting away so I could live, because staying in Forks would kill me. I drove until I reached Seattle, then I found someone at a local market that wanted to buy my truck, he was telling me how his dad had one just like it, and thanks' to Jake keeping it it good running order I got $2000 out of the guy. I didn't have the heart to tell him that after I left it wouldn't probably fall to pieces. I then took my money and picked the next plane out. One way to New York, no turing back. after landing in New York I decided to find somewhere to work, a local bar near my new apartment was looking for bar and wait staff so I applied. Manny the owner was a nice guy who gave me a job with no experience at all. My first shift was thursday night, I turned up to start setting up tables when I saw Manny having an argument with one of his bar staff. "Fine your fucking fired! Get out!" "With pleasure, I cant stand working in this shit hole anymore!" Manny told me she was asking for more money because she thought she was worth an extra $300 a week! No bar staff are worth and extra $300 a week I don't care where they are, Manny advised me. "Hey Bella do you know how to open a beer bottle?" Hell yeah I could do that "Umm yeah I guess." "I'll pay you double what you were gunna get doing tables tonight if you can help me with the bar?" Easy money I could do this. "Yeah sure Manny just let me know how much and where to stick the money and the emptys." Manny only had one rule dressing. I had to dress older than I looked cause I was still underage. I came back after going home and putting on some crazy outfit I sure Alice would have had a shit fit about My jeans were low rise and very tight my top was a deep blue form fitting halter neck that stopped just above my navel I wore my 3 inch heeled boot's so I could be taller. I checked myself out in the mirror of my bathroom then left for my first night of work. That was the night I meet the band, my new family that was 4 years ago. Now we don't play bar's like Manny's anymore, I'm Bella, I'm 22 and I'm part of 'Mortally Wounded' and we have the newest alternative metal album that is tearing up the charts and I'm still having that same fucking dream about Edward leaving me and destroying my life.  
I pulled out a new piece of blank sheet music paper picked up my pen I set up at the piano and started to get my mind on paper before it consumed me.

You don't remember my name

I don't really care

can we play the game your way?

can I really lose control?

Just once in my life

I think it'd be nice

just to lose control - just once

with all the pretty flowers in the dust

I could feel this song pouring from my heart, it killed me to do it but I had written my best stuff at these moments. Lestat and Armand will love this one, another heartbreaker at 1 in the morning and me with the eyes of the dead because of it.

Mary had a little lamb

his eyes black as coals

if we play very quite, my lamb

Mary never has to know

Just once in my life

I think it'd be nice

just to lose control - just once

If I cut you down to a thing I can use

I fear there will be nothing good left of you.

I did notice at that point Armand had come into my room. He stood behind me just waiting for 2 hours while I worked to finish the song, after I got the last notes down I turned to him and sighed.

"Couldn't sleep again?"

Armand put a hand on my shoulder lightly his voice filled with concern and worry, I was feeling slightly sarcastic and tired.

"What gave you that idea? The fact I'm up and writing or the fact that you have had to come and check to make sure I'm still alive, that I haven't taken to myself with a butterknife?"

"Bella! Please you know we all love you and only have you best interest at heart. If I felt that the writing as bad for you I would put a stop to it, the fact I can't put a stop to your dreams about the bastard kills me enough for you every night I hear you scream and cry for him. I want to take away your fear and pain and if writing does that for you I will let you keep writing, but if we ever think your not coping we will make a change you may not like do you understand?"

Armand was pissed looking but his eye's gave him away they were like Lestat's also he could be yelling at me telling me I was wrong and that he was angry with me but their eye's told me the truth, they cared for and loved me.

"Yes I understand Armand, I'm sorry"

I look up into his eyes telling him the truth.

"As long as you know Bella, don't make me send Marius in here or he will start some wonderfully boring story about playing on the beaches of Rome with Lestat after he changed him. Do you really want another one of those?"

Armand was smiling at me now all sign's of anger gone from his face and his eye's. I stood and hugged myself to him, he hugged back. At that point Lestat came into the room

"Ok I know the stories about my birth are not that interesting but they are no where near as bad as yours you arse, about the slave traders in Madrid."

Lestat chuckled as he came up behind me. I turned from Armand and jumped to his neck for a hug. Lestat lifted me off the ground, he hugged be back, kissing my temple.

"So my Bella what have you written for us tonight?"

"When I woke up it was sitting right in the tips of my fingers so I had to let it out. It's called Lose Control."

"Let's have a look then."

I smiled at him, he smiled just as big back at me I handed Lestat the pages, knowing full well he had heard me for the past 2 hours writing it. Dam vampire hearing. He sat at the piano with me picking up his violin and asking me to start off for him. Armand picked up his laptop and brought up his recording programme then he moved to his drums on the other side of the room. Vittiro came in at that point and picked up his Bass guitar Pandora moved to her keyboard finally Maius walked in a picked up his guitar. This was a rough play through, but they knew I needed it, it felt good we spent the next hour playing it, fine tuning the arrangements of music for everyone. If I keep going at this rate we will have the second album done before the first one has been fully realised, we had 5 song's that we could use as B side's for singles or on the second album now. After our play through everyone said it was an awesome song and our arrangements were great, they left me to go back to sleep it was now around 4 am. Lestat stayed and cradled me to his chest until I was asleep, free to torment myself with dreams about Edward again......


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Edward.........Edward........EDWARD!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!"

Alice had been yelling at me for the past few moment's I was trying to ignore her by not looking into her mind and turing up my music that was coming from my stereo on the far wall of my room.

"EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN GET OUT OUT HERE NOW!"

I hated it when she used my full name I knew I was in for it when she did, so I heaved myself from my couch and trudged to the door and into her room across the hall.

"What do you want now Alice?''

"You are coming with me now you hear me, Emmett and Rose need to be picked up at the airport and you need to get out of the house. Your really becoming lazy and boring doing nothing."

"You can take my car, I don't want to go anywhere."

"Edward you have to come Carlise and Esme have the other cars and I sure you don't want me to drive your car and get it all Aliced now do? And I've seen it your coming with me, so no use fighting me on this one"

Dam she knew she was going to win, she started bouncing down the hall to the front room. I stood there for a few more minutes before she came to the other end of the hall just standing there folding her arms across her chest tapping one foot and staring at me like she was trying to set me on fire, so I came back to life and moved to follow her out to the garage. At least with Rose here to visit Alice would be kept busy and out of my head for awhile.

"I brought us a CD to listen to, Jazzy said they are the newest band he like's, so I wanted to listen to it."

She didn't even wait for me to say no she just put it into the CD player. I sighed and gave in

"So who are they?"

"Mortally Wounded."

Nice name Jazz, wouldn't listen to this Would he?

"Alice are you sure that Jasper likes them?''

"Well he doesn't yet but I know he will"

She says tapping her temple, while smiling at me. I listen to the start of the first song Bring me to life, I has a haunting piano intro -

How can you see into my eyes like open doors

Leading me down into your core

Where I've become so numb without a soul

My spirit sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home

Wake me up inside

wake me up inside

Call my name and save me from the dark

Bid my blood to run before I come undone

Save me from the nothing I've become

Now that I know what I'm without

You can't just leave me

Breath into me and make me real

Bring me to life

So far not bad, not really my taste but I do like the instrumental sound.

Wake me up inside

Wake me up inside

Call my name and save me from the dark

Bid my blood to run before I come undone

Save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch without your love

Darling only you are the life among the dead

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see

Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me

I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems

Got to open my eye's to everything

Without a thought without a voice without a soul

Don't let me die here there must be something more

Bring me to life

I don't mind this band I may have to get Alice to let me copy this CD when we get home, we had listened to the whole album by the time we got to the airport. Rose and Em's plane would be landing soon we were here early thanks to the crazy pixie's push out of the house early. Now I see why she wanted to come early they are having a sale in the shops at the airport I hate duty free shopping with Alice she could go forever with no-one stopping her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Bella....... Bella it's time to get up sweetheart, we have to go and check out the club were thinking of playing come on get up."

I was being lightly shaken by my right shoulder by Lestat. I slowly came round

"hmmmmhh where are we going?"

I had moved to be fully sitting up now rubbing my eyes against the glare from the window across the room.

"We have to check out the club, you know the pit?"

Oh yeah we were looking at venues today, hang on we weren't doing that until after 1!

"What time is it?"

"Well it's just after 11 so we figured we should get you up."

"OK cheers for that Strings."

Strings was my pet name for Lestat, he only let me call him that, Armand tried once and was almost taken apart by him it was really intense. Lestat left the room so I could get changed I, threw myself into the shower and washed. I choose a outfit that was sure to get some free drinks from the owner, my 4 inch black stilettos with ankle straps a pair of black and purple fishnets, a short black and purple skirt just long enough to cover my cheeks so as to hide my black lace boy leg shorts, my top was a purple with black lace corset that finished just above my hips, I loved this corset it gave the illusion that I had cleavage. I left my hair out I had left it grow to this crazy length, it reached the top of my thighs. I did my make-up smokey eye's with a hint of purple on my upper lids and grape gloss. I was even more pale than I used to be as I never went into the sun if I had too and if I did I was covered with a umbrella that could cover 4 people and I was so skinny that you could throw a hand full of rice at me and be lucky if any of it hit me. I know that I should have eaten more but I only really ate when I felt hungry and that was not often. I walked out of the room 40 Min's later Alice would be proud. God why the hell do I keep thinking about them!

We set off to the club, The PIT soon after I came out. It took an hour to get to the club from our house, we had a whole building for our family just on the outside of ................. . It was huge I had the third floor to myself as there was my room then the music room which was attached to my room, when we first moved in there was a wall but I asked if it could be knocked down as I didn't want to have to leave my room if I felt like writing. And of course my father Maris did it almost instantly. My family were great at giving me anything I wanted, my mother Pandora would buy me everything in a colour I didn't have just because I said that I liked it, and my new brother's Armand, Lestat and Vittiro they would jump every time I said I needed something, they were also great at just being there for me. None of them had mates yet, well Lestat did have a very good friend Jessie I think he wanted to make more of their friendship but he was scared. She was a talimaskin and she was not meant to be friends with him let alone maybe more her job was to study vampires and record their life, she had studied Lestat's journal's and writing's before meeting him she willingly put herself into harms way just to meet him. We had spoken about her feeling's for him and what she should do, I have said to both them now about 100 times that if they love each other half as much as they say they do then they should be together. Lestat was hesitant as he had seen what happened to me and he didn't want to cause anyone that much pain or regret.

After 2 hours checking out the club and getting my drinks, free of course, thank-you Pandora I love this top. We decided that we would play there in 2 months, the benefit of owing the record company that we were signed too, we could make these decisions Maris was not only in the band but he was also the manager, I also played lead guitar with them so that enabled him to do both jobs at the moment. We were stoked we had a gig booked and a butt load of new material to use, we were gunna make it big! I moved to Pandora after signing the play bill listing

"Pan can we go shopping I think I would like to get some new tops for when we record the new stuff."

"My darling we can go now if you wish."

I smiled this huge smile at her

"I would love that, we can update the guy's clothes while we are there I think we have seen every shirt they own in the last month."

I giggled, Lestat came up behind me and grabbed me up into a hug

"You are going shopping again are you my Bella, do you think this time you could maybe get me some shirts that didn't make me look like a arse face like Army over there?"

He was laughing while saying to me.

"Yeah I'm sure they have both an arse-face and dick-face section fit for you, king of the dick-faces."

I laughed back at him. Army then started moving towards us, Lestat was quick to put me between them by holding me to his chest like a shield Army just moved to the left a little to try and hit him. But Lestat was too quick and blocked by moving me in his line of attack, with doing this he left himself wide open so Pandora could slap him upside the head with nothing in the way.

"Ow! come on mom he was asking for it, what he has been wearing lately makes him look like a dick!"

That comment earned him another but this time not from Pandora but from Maris. We all started laughing at that, Lestat even laughed after a bit but still held me to his chest. I knew that he loved me like I loved him, he is like the brother I never had, if I had to compare him to anyone, He was built like Jasper but the humor and dorkyness of Emmett with the heart of Edward. Pandora then spoke up

"Bella darling if you want to go now, ask your brother to put you down then we will leave unless he wishes to come with us?''

Pandora was smiling at Lestat, he dropped me feet to the ground almost instantly.

"No I'm fine I don't need to go, really mar I'm good."

He then moved away from me to our father rather quickly which caused us to break out into fits of laughter again. We recomposed ourselves and then went our separate ways Pandora and I to the mall while the Guy's and Maris went home


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I was in my room listening to the CD that Alice had given me again. I really did love this band the songs that they sang sounded as if they had been taken direct from my heart, they described everything I was going through t seamed that the last 4 years were now in song form just for me. The Album had 14 songs:

Bring me to life

Like you

Lacrymosa

My Immortal

Every body's fool

Tourniquet

Missing

Imaginary

Sweet Sacrifice

Lithium

Cloud nine

All that I'm living for

Whisper

Hello

The band didn't have there names on the cover just a brief notes from each explaining about the album. I looked on every site I could find on the net about them. Even their contact details were direct to management no names. I was strange I wanted to know who knew my heart so well, that they could describe all of my emotions so correctly. I gave up trying to look for their names and just went about enjoying their music, I saw that they were doing a small tour to help get the album out. I'm going to at least 4 of the shows that I can guarantee.

(BELLA)

Pandora and I had finished shopping and gotten home 4 hours later with enough clothes to run our own store. The guy's liked all their new clothes, I had my dinner then went to my room so I could get some sleep. I was successful for about 3 hours then I woke up after having another dam dream about them and him. It was now midnight and I was wide awake. Dam him to fucking hell! I haven't gotten through a full night of sleep in years. I had another song in my head so I got up and went to my piano to start writing.

All around me are familiar faces Worn out places,

worn out faces Bright and early for their daily races

Going nowhere, going nowhere

And their tears are fillin' up their glasses

No expression, no expression

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow

No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny

I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you

'Cause I find it hard to take

When people run in circles

It's a very, very

Mad World, Mad World

Mad World, Mad World

Children waiting for the day they feel good

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday

Made to feel the way that every child should

Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous

No one knew me, no one knew me

Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson

Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny

I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you

'Cause I find it hard to take

When people run in circles

It's a very, very

Mad World, Mad World

Mad World, Mad World

Another gem from the midnight session's I'm so fond of, I think this one will be Mad World. Well I'm done for the evening so I might go back through my closet I'm sure there is some more shit I can throw away as I started back to a closet Alice would be proud of.

(EDWARD)

I sat at my desk with my laptop showing me that a new concert had been added to the bill in another 2 months in California . I wonder if Alice wants to go? "Edward get us all ticket's for both the Thursday and Saturday shows!" Alice yelled from down stair's. I loved my sister, I was chuckling to myself at how she chimed in right after I decided to go. She said everyone would be going so I would need to book 4 rooms at a hotel near by. This should be good Carlise and Esme at a metal rock concert, I was laughing a little harder to myself thinking about it. I couldn't wait the show was in 59 nights this would be good, I started looking at flights to get us there and some decent rental cars, I wonder if Astin Martin would lend me a Vanquish for the 6 days? hmmmm I might need to find out. Esme had thought out loud to me that she would like to see some of the museum's and gallery while there so we were now going for 6 day's, maybe we could pay extra to see the sound checks hhhhhmm I wonder.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

We had been rehursing for the last month and a half getting all of our songs perfect and fixing the set list we have just changed it for the millionth time. Everyone had their own idea's of how the set should go and with all the new song's I was writing they wanted to add at least 6 in so then they could see if they were liked enough to put in the second album or if we should just limit release them. And then there were the arguments over how long we should be on stage I advised them that I could only do about an hour and a half at the best. being that we made sure there was 1 day between shows we still had media commitments for the Friday so I had to rest for a few hours in between. We finally chose the set list it would last for about a1 hour 20mins at max and we had a break in the middle of half an hour with a support band Nightwish A new band I liked were going on so I could rest for the last set. They were also going to go on before us for an hour to get everyone warmed up they were a great group they had some fucking awesome songs too. As we lived only an hour from the gig we weren't going to stay at any of the hotels as I would be happier coming home, I just couldn't relax in a hotel I always had worse nightmares when we stayed in them, I thought back to when Alice and Jasper had to take me and then I was almost killed by James. That shit kind of sticks with you so my mother and father didn't want me to have to suffer so they agreed to bring me home, and being that we had 2 huge secrets here at the house unless we could get good friends to watch the house it was rare that we would all leave.

Being in a family that had some of the oldest vampires was really eye opening especially when you got one of them talking, Maris for instance was the oldest he was over 2200 years old Pandora was only 17 years younger than him, she and he had known each other before he was turned, after he was turned he came back to see her and they couldn't fight the feeling's they had so he turned her. They have been together ever since, Armand is the third oldest he is just over 2000 years then Lestat he is coming up on his 2000 Vittiro is the youngest at just over 1400 years. Then there were the oldest non-family members that we cared for both over 4000 years old the King and Queen of all who are dammed Enkil and his Queen Akasha. They were solid stone as they had lost there thirst after draining the known world for over 1000 years Enkil decided that he wanted to stay still for a time and his Queen stayed with him. They haven't moved in the whole time Maris has watched over them until I came along, I went down to the basement with Lestat and Armand when they tended to them one day, cleaning and leaving offering's for if they chose to wake. Even as stone they are beautiful, but when I was down there with them I asked if I could sing for a little, Lestat and Armand saw no trouble with it so I started to sing a little bit of Hello.

When I noticed Akasha move her right arm and Enkil moved his left their eye's changed from stone Enkil's were a very deep blue and Akasha's were a very bright green. It only took everyone seconds to get down there all of us standing there in front of the most powerful and beautiful vampires to have ever existed, Enkil moved to stand Aksha stood with him he turned to her as if they were speaking without words. Enkil then turned to face us looking directly at me he moved to come forward towards the group when Aksha put her hand on his arm turning him to face her, he let out this almighty growl that made the walls shake, she stood there looking directly into his eye's almost pleading with him. Enkil went to turn again but this time Aksha stopped him by grabbing him by the throat and throwing him into his throne standing in front of him he growled again but this time Aksha who was yet to speak let out a high pitched growl while raising her hand and slashing it across his throat then bending down to take his face in her hands to turn his face so she could bite down onto his neck then she feed from him taking his life he turned back to stone just before she could take his last drop. She turned to us then pointed to me "You come here, Bella come over to your Queen." I looked to Maris who had hold of my arm then to Pandora who had hold of my other arm. They moved forward with me flanking my sides getting ready to remove me at a moments need. We stood about 6 feet from Aksha when she moved to sit back in her throne folding her arms to her lap. I was shitting myself these 2 hadn't moved in ages now they chose to move and she wanted to see me! FUCK!

Maris was the first to speak "My Queen how can we serve thee?" "You can let me speak with the mortal, Bella." The Queen stated. She motioned her hand towards the now stone King. "He needed to be calmed down when he wakes he will want to apologise to you himself my dears. It quells my blood to see you all here, and you my dear your voice is beautiful I'm sorry if we scared you, I understand we haven't been very talkative for a while now but I glad you chose to come and help your brothers and then grace us with your song. Would you be able to sing it again for me?'' I was still frozen from shock, before I realised that I needed to open my mouth to form words. "Yes I would love to sing for you again, thank-you." I then started to sing Hello again after I was done Aksha was merely smiling at me. She adjusted her position in her throne, smiled at me said thank-you and that I was welcome back to sing for her and the

King at anytime. She then turned back to stone leaving us all letting out a sigh of relief and almost running from the room to the living room, Maris then made it clear that I was not to go back down there unless it was dam well necessary to go. After that the King and the Queen woke when we were trying out a new arrangement for a song, Maris went down to them they both asked for me again after having some of the offering that was left, I went down still in a state of shock they both asked for me to sing again so I did. Enkil apologised for his out burst the first time we meet which I accepted. I now saw them once a week playing them any new songs that I had written and they helped when the last time I had fallen down the stairs and hurt myself no blood spilled but I broke my leg in 3 places they suggested a direct injection of their venom to the area just a small amount. this is the reason I now carry a small vile of their venom and syringe with me at all times, for the next time I fall and try to kill myself, it doesn't hurt me and it does give me a lot of energy when I do inject it and all of my senses are heightened for around 4 days and I become a little more durable. I tried jumping off the second story of the house after I injected myself and I hit the ground with no injuries, then we moved to the fourth story same effect it was great but it really is like a drug in the sense that I don't feel the pain at the time but when I come down I'm so tired that I usually sleep for 8 to 9 hours straight but it's not a restful sleep it's just my body taking rest I still wake up as if I had only been asleep for a few hours. 


	6. Chapter 6

AN NOTE Sorry I hate them too but I just wanted to send an update note

Hi all so sorry about not updating for awhile after reality kicking my ass and some heinous messages sent thru about my stories, I have taken a break from updates. Also I am looking for a BETA to help me with some chap's I have re-written and new chap's ready to go, though I am apprehensive about putting my new ones up if they are just going to be hacked apart so I wanted to get a BETA to see if I can appease the grammar and punctuation hounds. But I must say to those who have sent me reviews and update request's your word's helped me so much after everything so a HUGE THANK-YOU to all of you :) If you are interested to help BETA my work please send me a message and I will get back to you.

Love and hugs Kelly XOXO


End file.
